


Horse Prince Fic

by cuntliq



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Boys Kissing, Cute Dan Howell/Phil Lester, Dom Phil Lester, Dom/sub, Domestic Dan Howell/Phil Lester, Funny, Hand Jobs, M/M, Sub Dan Howell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-15
Updated: 2017-04-15
Packaged: 2018-10-19 03:38:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10631367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cuntliq/pseuds/cuntliq
Summary: this disgusting piece of writing is the result of the dangerous combination of lack of sleep + untreated mental illness + a twisted sense of humor. obviously this is a joke and it's all in good fun. please enjoy.





	

"Phil? What're you laughing at in there?" asked Dan as he stepped into the office to find Phil hunched over the editing computer, chuckling quietly to himself.

"Oh nothing, just the footage from our recent Horse Prince video. I think we might need to reconsider releasing this video," said Phil, cheeks flushed with laughter.

"Why's that? I think our audience will be able to handle it, demented as they are," Dan teased.

Phil looked down and shook his head. When he looked up at Dan again, a wicked grin had spread across his face. "No, I mean...the noises you're making in this video, Dan. You're going to inspire an onslaught of edits and fan fiction I don't think we'll be able to prepare ourselves for."

"Oh please, you know we both gave up caring about stuff like that years ago. Let the fans do as they will."

"It's funny, you know," said Phil as Dan turned to leave the room.

"What's funny?" inquired Dan, head poked back into the office.

"Well, it's just that years ago we would've never released anything as bizarre as this on our channels. Now we're showing our viewers the literal noises you make in bed." Phil was obviously joking around, but there was a mischievous glint in his eyes.

"Oh, piss off, Phil," said Dan, looking down at his feet, embarrassed.

"I'm serious. This moan you let out right here is exactly the noise you make when -"

Dan had crossed the room to playfully cover Phil's mouth with his hand. "I will end your life if you don't stop, Mr. Philip."

Phil giggled as he took Dan's hands in his and squeezed gently. "You're so cute when you're flustered, Dan" said Phil, as he lifted slightly out of his chair to peck Dan's lips.

"Well that's because I have shame, unlike you. I know you secretly love seeing your handsome face on that thick horse's body. Otherwise you wouldn't have that fan art as your phone background."

"It's no secret," said Phil, as he stood up. "But don't tell me you don't love the idea of me pressing you against a wall..."

Dan stumbled backwards as Phil leaned into him, trapping him against the wall of their office. He looked into his sparkling eyes and suddenly felt very vulnerable, and somewhat enticed.

"And let's not pretend you don't fantasize about my horse hoof gently lifting up your chin," said Phil, as he enacted this. Although they were playing around, Phil noticed Dan's flushed cheeks and top teeth biting down on his bottom lip.

Phil gently pulled Dan's face towards his, but as Dan shut his eyes and cocked his head slightly to accept the kiss, Phil instead wet his lips and pressed them onto the side of Dan's neck.

Dan gasped and his eyes flicked open. As Phil began to gently bite and suck Dan's neck, he could hear Dan's breathing increase as he sucked in air and exhaled laboriously.

"See, you're panting just as SusanKun does."

"Oh shut up, you freak," laughed Dan, but he couldn't ignore the bulge in his jeans that was starting to grow. Although feeling slightly disturbed for being aroused in these odd circumstances, Dan intertwined his fingers with Phil's and led him to the bedroom, ignoring any feelings of guilt and accepting his own newfound kink.

Dan gently pushed Phil onto the bed as he tugged his own shirt over his head and began to wiggle out of his jeans.

"You do realize you're giving me permission to tease you about this endlessly for the rest of time," informed Phil, but Dan didn't seem to hear because seconds later he was lifting Phil's shirt off over his head.

After stripping in what had to be record timing, Dan crawled onto the bed, pressed a hand to Phil's chest to flatten him against a pillow, and began to kiss him furiously. As their soft lips met and their tongues glided against each other's, Phil began to grind against Dan, trying to close the small gap between their heated bodies. He took a fistful of Dan's hair and gently tugged backwards to give himself better access to Dan's neck and chest, which were now gleaming with sweat.

Phil began to suck and nibble at Dan's neck, while using his free hand to stroke Dan's erection, which was quickly growing. Dan attempted to undo the button on Phil's jeans with one hand, while propping himself up with the other, but was interrupted by Phil rolling him over onto his back.

Their eyes met and Dan stared into Phil's lustful gaze, hypnotized. He took in Phil's sleek black hair, his prominent cheekbones, his porcelain skin...He was beautiful. For a fleeting moment, he understood SusanKun's plight; with a face that perfect, Dan wouldn't mind if the rest of Phil's body was that of a horse...

Dan was brought back to reality as he heard the sound of Phil undoing his zipper and struggling out of his tight jeans. After completing the cumbersome task, Phil gripped Dan by the hips and painfully dug his fingernails into Dan's sides as he began to grind against him. Dan winced and quickly tried to banish the thought that if Phil had hooves, this wouldn't currently be an issue.

Despite the disturbing horse-kink thoughts flooding his mind, Dan was incredibly aroused. He nearly yelped when Phil grabbed both their erections in one large capable hand and began to pump up and down expertly.

Phil, sitting on Dan with his knees on either side of him, took his free hand and began to caress Dan's chest. He slowly made his way up to Dan's neck, catching his attention.

Their eyes met and Dan once again noticed a dangerous sparkle in Phil's eyes. Phil's fingers began to tighten around Dan's neck.

"Say it, Dan," ordered Phil. Dan looked up very confused, but unable to ignore the familiar feeling of his orgasm building inside him.

Phil's grip tightened once again and Dan felt a pang in his groin; he was moments away from coming.

Phil squeezed Dan's neck even harder, forcing a choking sound out of Dan's lips, which Dan couldn't help but think resembled his sound for SusanKun choking on a spring onion.

Suddenly it hit him, and he realized what Phil wanted. He stared directly into his eyes, and in a deep, unwavering voice said, "choke me horsey."

Phil threw his head back and grunted as he came onto Dan's chest. Dan, triggered by the look of Phil's face contorting in pleasure, and the increased pressure on the choking grip, also began to come.

Phil released his grip and collapsed beside Dan who was trying to catch his breath. Dan rubbed the tender area where Phil's fingers had been.

"Well, that's gonna leave a nice bruise. Thanks, Yuuma, I mean Phil," he joked.

Phil chuckled as he looked over at Dan. "And you said that choking was the one kink you didn't have," he teased, as he leaned in to press a gentle kiss on Dan's red skin.


End file.
